Happy almost summer!  Bet you thought I’d all but abandoned blogging, huh? I just find it hard to blog from January through April because the weather is mild where I live and it is extremely tempting to spend all of one’s time outside doing non computer related things. But soon it will literally be as hot as hell, so its time to re-visit the blogosphere.

To kick things off, I’ve decided to point my ire towards the modern state of email which has officially been sullied by a society obsessed with social media. What am I talking about? Quite simply, the fact that email programs, specifically Outlook 2013, now allow users to upload profile pictures so that all your email recipients get to see your mug attached to every email you send.

What is the big deal you ask? Yahoo! MSN Gmail have allowed profile pics on their web-based email programs for a few years now, right? So why am I up in arms about Outlook 2013? Well, because Outlook 2013 is the email program used by my very large, national company. Which means that on top of seeing people in person every day at the office, I also have their faces staring at me every time I check my work email.

Currently, uploading a profile pic to the company email is not mandatory and the majority of my co-workers have yet to meticulously choose the photograph they want associated with their professional reputation.  But as each day passes, more and more of my workplace acquaintances are uploading photos, and it ain’t pretty.

To clarity, i’m not criticizing the attractiveness (or lack thereof) of my co-workers. What I am criticizing is the choice of photos many of my co-workers are using as the symbol of their professional self.  Common sense would tell you that your photo should, well, make you look like a knowledgeable professional. You should upload a photo wearing business attire in a well-lit setting, possibly sporting a welcoming smile.  But as anyone who has spent more than 10 minutes on Linkedin can attest, common sense often does not prevail when  it comes to profile pics in a business setting.

As an example, a salesperson I communicate with regularly recently changed her profile pic to a picture of a snarling chihuahua. Sure it’s cute but at the same time, this email address is the same email address she uses to communicate with clients. Call me crazy but a snarling dog starting at me via email would seriously make me question whether I’m doing business with the right company. Although on the other hand, maybe a crabby snarling dog is just the ticket to scare a client into buying more product.

Snarlin’ Charlie says “Pay up or else!”

Next, there is the “cutesy” trend displayed by newlywed employees who insist on uploading a couples photo of his/her self with his/her significant other. Barf.

Life is just so perfect now that I’ve found my soul-mate.

The only thing that would make me okay with such sappy displays of affection in the workplace is if these employees would subsequently upload photos that truthfully depict the decline of wedded bliss as time passes.

Dear Lord, when will it be my turn to work late at the office?

Next is the “extreme” vacationer. You know, that guy that turns every vacation into some epic challenge to tests the limits of his physical strength and fear?  Well, now it’s not enough that I get to hear about the time this guy climbed the Alps or kayaked down the Amazon.  Now I get to see it starting back at me everyday, mocking my quite ordinary vacation to San Diego or whatever other lame tourist trap I went to on my time off.

Eat my snow losers!  Snowboarders Rule! Couch Potatoes Drool!

Lastly, there are just some people who don’t photograph well.  They may look perfectly normal in person, but suddenly turn into caricatures, scary caricatures, whenever a camera is present.  Lets just say, now more than ever I need to make sure I’ve had a cup of coffee before I open my email.

GOOD MORNING!  I HAVE A SURPRISE FOR YOU! 

I know we live in a picture crazy society and posting photos of ourselves on every platform is normal. Just think long and hard about what image you want to project to your professional network in your 9-5 life. Sometimes, no photo is the best option if the photo you’re really dying to upload is you singing karaoke at the bar.