This Better Get Better with Age

What do you think gets better with age?

With proper planning and luck, my retirement fund cause I don’t plan to stay in corporate life until death.

Semi alive roses in July in the desert- they’re skill kicking!

Gotta make sure I have time to smell these before they (or I) die.

Avoidance

What strategies do you use to increase comfort in your daily life?

Act busy to avoid getting more work assigned. If you’re already busy, act busier. Rinse and repeat. This also works if you want to avoid chatting with coworkers. If they want to ask you questions about work stuff, tell them to throw a meeting on your calendar. 90% of people from my experience will never willingly schedule a meeting but be prepared for the 10% that will. None of this is a guarantee of smooth sailing but it helps make the daily less rocky.

Good luck!

From the Archives: Go Link Yourself

Originally posted June 20, 2013 by Nicole

Authors Note: Reading through this, much of this material still holds today in 2024 and if anything, has just illustrated how this particular social media site has gone downhill.

Maintaining a career in these modern times is difficult.  Between the economy and the rapid pace of technology, some industries are shrinking while others are expanding.  Those of you actively job-hunting know that competition is stiff for jobs.  Those of you who aren’t actively job-hunting are being encouraged to network, network, network to keep your name and credentials out there in case you do find yourself unemployed.

These days, many hiring managers don’t just rely on the references you provide them to check your credentials and background. No, like everything else technology has added rather than reduced a layer of stress to a process in our day to day lives.  Now, hiring managers often run your name through their search engine of choice and expect to find you on at least one of the major social media sites.

While Facebook has been used by some as way to network professionally, more and more people have joined Linkedin to maintain their professional profile.  Linkedin is pretty much the buttoned up, watered down version of Facebook.( Author’s note: Now in 2024- the posts are basically FB lite. Just check out https://www.reddit.com/r/LinkedInLunatics/ for proof. ) Now, I to this day refuse to join Facebook (still refuse) but I did reluctantly join Linkedin about two years ago (2011- so present day 13 years) after being successfully browbeaten by numerous business articles insisting that one simply MUST be on Linkedin to grow one’s career.

Aside from collecting co-workers like baseball cards on the website, you are supposed to join groups and post comments on forums to flex your expertise in your chosen career.  Most of us on Linkedin however, rely on the “let’s just connect with as many people as possible” strategy in the hopes that the more your name pops up on contact lists, the more likely some recruiter will find you and offer you your dream job.

Two years into being a member of Linkedin, I’ve yet to move onto my “dream” career (still haven’t but current role gets me closer).  Instead, I’ve been hunted down by recruiters strong arming me into interviewing for  lateral positions which would  lengthen my commute by 15 miles only to be contacted by another recruiter who called me about two potential job opportunities then never called me back (LOL all still holds true today). I have had better luck with applying to positions directly via a company’s website.  I’ve had a 75% success rate in obtaining an interview this way, but alas the jobs I’ve interviewed for weren’t quite a good fit for me.

At times I’ve thought about deleting my profile (still think about doing this).  Yet I remain. Why? Well, because the one perk of remaining on Linkedin is that you can spy on your co-workers.

Now, before I elaborate on this point, let me say that there are many nuisances on Linkedin.  For one thing, when you log into your homepage, Linkedin will feature 4-5 business articles ( not sure they do this anymore). 

In addition, you will find that several of your connections have also posted links to business articles they feel you should read. While this doesn’t sounds so bad, having so many business articles grouped together illustrates how most business articles just rehash the same crap over and over.

Once in awhile, you might see an article that shows promise.

An open bar in the office? So now my coworkers can annoy me while sober AND drunk!

On the downside, you have to wade through numerous “5 Reasons You Suck at Your Job” or “Why Top Companies Won’t Be Hiring this Quarter” or “Why Trend X is No Longer Trendy” type of articles.

Really? The job market is experiencing slow growth? The devil you say!

Do you really need an article to spell this out for you? After the initial “honeymoon” period on a new job, it’s been my experience that 2:1 you probably do work for a stupid company.

I don’t even know who or what Huawei is.  Thank you Linkedin, for making me feel stupid.

 After you wade through dry business articles posing as trendy advice columns, Linkedin will try to recommend jobs that you should apply for.  Problem is, these jobs recommendations as far as I can tell are based on keywords from the job titles in your work history.  So if you are trying to switch careers, these recommendations won’t be helpful.  Also, 50% of the job recommendations I receive are for sales jobs I am not remotely qualified to apply for (still true- which tells me LinkedIn’s algorithm still sucks after all these years).

Sales Manager III?  Wow, I’ve never even held a sales job in a retail store, let alone field sales.

Another annoying aspect of Linkedin is that it likes to remind you of how long you’ve been trapped at your current place of employment.  The real kick in the teeth is when your co-workers chime in to rib you about it.

Once you get past all this, you can find some good stuff on Linkedin.  For example, you realize even that the senior level manager who sits down the hall from you is also ashamed to work for the company and recently changed his job title on Linkedin to identify himself professionally as an improv actor.

The next fun feature is uncovering lies your co-workers tell about their work experience.  You see, Linkedin profiles are essentially resumes.  This allows you to rifle through the BS they’ve been using to pad their resumes.

Senior Analyst  

Company X

Public Company; 1001-5000 employees;

March 2010 – June 2011 (1 year 4 months)

  • Weekly forecasting of revenue and analysis of weekly changes and variances to budget, forecast and year over year variance.
  • Resulted in increase in accuracy from 75% to 95%+ with detailed explanation of variances. Really, because after you were fired, our director was still yelling about how you didn’t know what the hell you were doing this whole time.
  • Creation of analytic model.  Analysis and reporting of sales data including year over year analysis, gap analysis, forecasting and variance analysis.  Yeah, we scrapped any and all reports you developed and instead put together analyses that were actually useful to management.

When you are checking out another person’s profile, Linkedin gives you a rundown of other profiles people checked out after reading the same profile you are looking at.  Sometimes this information can be telling about who else you are lumped in with professionally.

Note: All profile pics shown in this blog post are clipart photos EXCEPT for the Hooters girl above.  That’s the actual pic on Linkedin. No, really.  I just stuck a red dot on her face to protect her identity outside the Linkedin universe, but somehow I don’t even think it matters.

This leads me to another interesting point about Linkedin. This is supposed to be a professional networking site.  Linkedin encourages you to use a professional photo to establish yourself as a credible expert in whatever it is you do.  Yet some people still don’t get it. As a result, you’re likely to come across the following profile pics:

The Children – numerous people post a picture of their kids instead of themselves.

Random Object – some people post a pic of an object or symbol instead of a photo.

Guess which one I am  – Then again, some people opt to include a picture of themselves…among a crew of others.

In addition to the fun features I’ve shown above, you can also endorse the skills and write recommendations for people you know.  This is great if your boss or a co-worker check off endorsements on your profile or write a glowing recommendation.  This is not so great if the endorsement or recommendation comes from your mom or your spouse.

In a nutshell, despite the dry business discussions and overt lies found within the pages of Linkedin, it does provide some chuckles and helps you keep tabs on the people you work with everyday.  It’s an easy way to maintain an online presence for career purposes. If used correctly, you can use Linkedin solely for business contacts and then promote the fun stuff, like your personal blog, for your other social media sites. (Author’s Note: RIP Twitter.)

Any vacation is memorable

Describe your most memorable vacation.

Any vacation is memorable as long as you are not working or checking in with work or thinking about work. ‘Nuff said.

I also advocate for taking at least a lunch break during the working day, which can be thought of as mini vacations. Taking a walk or even stepping outside your home or office for a few minutes can do wonders.

If you work in office, try to find green spaces nearby to walk around or even just sit for a few minutes and enjoy the quiet.

Here are some of my mini vacations when working at the office. These were all taken within the past two weeks.

So I know some of you are thinking -” uh isn’t it hot in Phoenix right now”. Yes! So  your next question might be “how are you outside walking around taking photos?!” Well- because when I am in the office, the air conditioning is set much lower than I’m used to so I need to dethaw by mid-day and it takes a good 10-15 minute jaunt around the area to do that!

Ok so for me the motivation to get out and take a break is two fold- mental AND physical health/comfort. Because feeling like a popsicle all day is completely unproductive.

Also notice – we still have greenery in the dead of summer!

Heritage Square Downtown Phoenix
Arizona Center Downtown Phoenix

Virginia G. Piper Plaza Downtown Phoenix

Focus Focus Focus

What is your favorite genre of music?

I listen to too many genres and subgenres to pick a favorite. Since this blog is related to coping with on the job tomfoolery, my answer is curated to playlists that keep me calm focused when I have things I don’t want to work on important deadlines or I’m cleaning up other people’s messes I’m solving complicated tasks that require diplomacy and concentration.

Below are some playlists that help me retain my sanity focus during work hours.  All links are to YouTube playlists, because it’s free.

-Playlists of Erik Satie’s Gymnopedies or Gnossiennes on a loop. These are instrumental piano pieces that I find both calming and beautiful and stop me from typing out my real thoughts by email increase my patience.

      https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Qr4azoVLqL0&pp=ygUKRXJpayBzYXRpZQ%3D%3D

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=FS6o3qFimsc&pp=ygUKRXJpayBzYXRpZQ%3D%3D

-Chill with Taiki playlists. These are lo-fi playlists featuring Taiki, a cute Shiba Inu. The link below is to my favorite of the playlists.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9FvvbVI5rYA&pp=ygURY2hpbGwgd2l0aCB0YWlraSA%3D

– Blue Lines by Massive Attack. A classic from the British Trip Hop collective. The variety of the songs from start to finish hold my interest yet simultaneously allows me to focus.

https://m.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLI6kLIhBBwmQs4uIox4UgB2UHc4IuS78s 

I have a number of personal playlists as well that feature other genres than shown above but these are my defaults when I don’t feel like sifting through my personal collection and just want to hit play and go.

How does your musical tastes differ from work to your off time? Or is it the same? 

From the Archives: Signs You are Suffering from Workplace Burnout

Originally posted on  

1. You have to go to the restroom on another floor because the one you use is being cleaned. It takes you 5 minutes upon returning to your desk to realize…you aren’t sitting at your desk but the desk of the putz whose desk is in the same location as yours on this floor.

2. You can’t wait to get home and finish constructing that voodoo doll of your manager.

3. You’ve run out of people in your company to which you can assign *delightful* nicknames.

4. You’re happy to get picked for jury duty.

5. You’ve secretly put together background checks on all your co-workers “just in case”.

6. Fire drill = Super fun!

Notes to My Future Self

What are you most worried about for the future?

I’m an analyst, so… Everything?

Too broad?

Ok let me think of specifics.

1. I still don’t know the correct answer to the riddle “how many chucks would a woodchuck chuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood” and I fear I will never know the answer. Seems like I could just add up the number of times the word “chuck” appears but that seems too obvious.

2. That I’ll turn into some crazy person who decides not to retire. I’ve dreamt of retirement since I was a girl (yeah you read that right) so not retiring would shake up the core of my identity.

3. That I’ll develop some weird health condition that prevents me from drinking coffee.  Would be almost as devastating as item 2 above if not more so.

4. That I’ll never make time to learn underwater basket weaving.

5. That the Friday/Saturday morning kids show Xploration Earth is right and we’ll all be eating crickets as our main source of protein by the year 2050.

Phew now that I got that out of my system, what are you all worried about? Can’t be nearly as bad as my list.

‘The Bear’ by FX: Overhyped or Underwhelming? Unfrazzled Analyst

Over the weekend I decided to sit down and watch the highly acclaimed Season 1 of “The Bear” which has received accolades left and right. Much of the setting takes place in a restaurant and highlights the dysfunction of the workplace, so it’s fitting to talk about here. About 10 minutes into the pilot episode, I feel asleep. After a short nap, I powered through the remaining 20 odd minutes.

I took a 3 hour break doing other more interesting things (*cough cough housework*) then watched Episode 2. It was ok. Then I watched episode 3. About halfway through this episode I wanted to gouge my eyes out do some more cleaning. The next day I opted to skip ahead to the last episode of Season 1 and OMG it was an hour-long episode. I remember watching to the five-minute mark then I blinked (feel asleep again) and it was 20 minutes in. And the scene I opened my eyes to moved so incredibly slow I finally said eff this and decided this wasn’t worth my time.

What did I not like about this show? Let’s see, the plot, the characters, the dialogue… pretty much everything.

  • While the backstory of Carmy’s nightmares and complicated relationship with his brother could make for compelling television, it just did not resonate with me.
  • The dialogue. I’m not a prude when it comes to swearing, but the dialogue relies heavily on swearing which annoyed me by episode 2.
  • Overall, the characters were unlikable, and I really didn’t care what happened to them.

I know my list of dislikes is not very detailed for a commentary (and a commentary by an analyst) but that would require me to watch more of this show and that is not going to happen.

If you like the show, great, but for me, this show was less exciting than watching paint dry.

Image by Pexels from Pixabay

Actually, I lied. A time lapse video of paint drying, cracking and peeling would be more interesting than this show.

Disagree? Fight me. First leave a comment below then fight me.

Are there any other “critically acclaimed” movies, music, tv shows or books that you checked out and could not understand the hype? Drop me a note!

As Seen in the Breakroom #1

Although I mostly WFH these days, and my office doesn’t have much of a breakroom to speak of anymore, I’ve collected photos over the years of items I’ve found in office break rooms or other public spaces doubling as a break room. Thought I’d share one today.

Sage advice! I took this back in 2013. Who knew this was a prediction of things to come! I hear employers in current the job market are primarily looking for unicorns.

From the Archives: Rejected Blog Ideas

As mentioned in the previous post, I deleted the first few months of this blog back in November 2012 and started “fresh”. After looking up some of my posts via the Wayback Machine, I have no effing clue why I did that. So… each week I will bring you a “From the Archives” to republish the deleted posts I’m able to find. Rather than inserting a JPEG file of a screen snip from the Wayback Machine, I’m doing a copy/paste as several of the images attached to these archives show up as broken links on the Wayback Machine.

This post is self-explanatory. 🙂 However, I’d be interested to know if you struggled with naming your blog? Also, do my ideas below give you any ideas?

Posted on  by Nicole

Weed Puller Weekly: Sharing the Woes of an Unruly Lawn

Dashboard Diva: Unleashing the Awesome Citrus Power of Dashboard Reporting

NYT June Crossword Hero: Helping You Solve the June 1st, 2012 New York Times Crossword, One Clue at a Time

My Favorite Marshmallow: Inspecting Bags of Marshmallows in the Hopes of Finding “The One” that Resembles Something.

Stoopid Guy Fieri Fans: Mocking Guy Fieri Fans Across the Globe.  This one was rejected for the obvious reason that if you are a Guy Fieri fan, you already have enough problems in life than to be mocked by some blogger.